The Party
by Fleur27
Summary: Eliot gets more than he bargained for when he attends Parker's party.


Disclaimer: I own nothing here and am just doing this for fun and to ease my new-found Leverage addiction.

Note: This is my first Leverage story. The plot is inspired by the story Christian Kane tells before singing the song "Mary Can You Come Outside." (Go look for it in YouTube - it's a great song.)

* * *

Eliot arrived at Parker's party a fashionable hour after she'd told him to be there, so he was surprised to find himself standing alone with her in a sparsely furnished apartment.

"Where is everyone?"

Parker smiled. "You're here."

"Yeah, but I thought you said this was a party. Usually that implies several, maybe even many, guests."

"Oh that, well, since I never had one before, I thought I'd start off small and work my up to something bigger."

"So you invited me?"

"Well first-"

Eliot held up a hand. "No, don't tell me. I don't wanna know."

Parker looked at Eliot expectantly. "So, now what?"

He rubbed his forehead. He always trusted his instincts, always. So why had he come to Parker's when he knew it was going to be awkward and strange? And how had he managed to underestimate just how strange and awkward?

"I don't know, Parker. Play some music. And we can talk or something."

She bounded away and a few seconds later, dance music filled the apartment. Parker sat down on the couch and Eliot sat across from her on the chair, figuring he'd stay for this one CD and then make up an excuse to leave.

It was an excruciating 40-minutes, but mercifully, blessedly, it was finally over. Elliot stood up and was about to make his excuse when he heard an angry male voice shouting in the apartment next door. He couldn't quite make out the words, but then he heard two thick thwapping noises followed by a clatter.

"That was an open-palmed slap to the face, a punch in the stomach and then whoever it was fell over a chair."

"You can identify the violence just by the sounds?"

"They're very distinctive sounds."

"If you say so," said Parker, rolling her eyes.

"You know your neighbors?" asked Eliot as he slowly approached the shared wall.

"Not really. That guy, he's really big and pretty much mean and mad all the time. And then there's his girlfriend."

"And this....does this happen very often?"

"Pretty much every night."

"Every night," he growled and shook his head. "You friendly with this girl?"

Parker laughed but stopped when she saw the look on his face. "Oh, you're serious. I know her to say 'hi' to. That's about it."

"And is she banged up most of the time?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Elliot shot Parker a you-gotta-be-kidding-me look, staring at her until she snapped. "What? _What?"_

"Cause and effect, Parker. Her boyfriend's beating her up every night and you just think that's normal."

"It's normal for them."

"What's wrong with you?"

"What? It's her own business. She's not a child. If she didn't like it, she'd leave, right?"

"It doesn't always work that way," said Eliot, frustration nearly bubbling over.

"It doesn't?" Parker sounded genuinely mystified.

Eliot counted to ten, reminding himself that Parker was so far out of normal, it would take a space ship to reach her. "There's a difference between wanting to leave and being able to leave."

Parker looked at him blankly.

"Nevermind," said Eliot, as he briskly left Parker's apartment, went next door and knocked on the door.

The guy stomped to the door and pulled it open. "What?"

He was a mountain of a man, his cheeks red with exertion. The overpowering stench of cheap whisky wafted off of him, and he seemed to be having trouble focusing his eyes.

"I'm sorry, could you step out here for a minute? I'd like to have a word with you," said Eliot, smiling pleasantly even as he plotted where he was going to hit the guy first.

The guy started to swing the door shut, but Elliot stopped it with his foot. "Really, it'll only take a minute of your time and then I'll leave you alone."

The guy grumbled but gave in, stepping out into the hallway. In several well-practiced moves that took no more than a few seconds to execute, Elliot laid the man out flat. He crouched down next to him and pressed his forearm into the guy's windpipe.

"Maybe nobody ever taught you any better, but that's okay, you'll learn tonight. That's no way to treat a lady."

The guy's eyes bulged and his lips moved. Even though no sound came out, Eliot knew exactly what he was saying.

"Here's how it's going to work. You get your stuff, leave, and never come back. You don't call her. You don't email her. You don't even think about her."

The guy's face was crimson, but Eliot could still see defiance in his eyes.

"Or I will kill you." He leaned in, applying a bit more pressure to the guy's neck.

Parker poked her head out the door. "I hope you don't think he's joking. Because he never jokes about killing."

"Never," promised Eliot. He looked back at Parker and motioned for her to go in the apartment and get the girl. Parker blinked at him but then seemed to get it. A few seconds later, she led a small, mousy woman into her apartment.

Eliot leaned back and then stood up, holding out a hand to help the guy up. The guy came up, his terror momentarily forgotten.

"You got a lot of nerve, coming into," started the guy, but he didn't have a chance to finish the thought before Eliot put him on the ground again, with more aggression and enough force to snap a couple of ribs.

"You a slow learner? Because that's all right, I got all night." He gave the guy his best rattlesnake smile and hoped the idiot gave up the act soon.

Five minutes later, the guy was back in the apartment and five minutes after that he was gone for good. Eliot took a deep breath and returned to Parker's apartment, where he found her attempting to comfort the girl.

"It's okay, I don't think anyone will notice that black eye because, you know, you don't look like you get much sleep."

"Parker, I got this," said Eliot, opening the freezer to make up an ice pack. He handed it to the woman and sat down next to her. So much for his plan for leaving, but he consoled himself with a promise that this was the last time he'd ever go to one of Parker's parties.


End file.
